To Be Vulnerable

I once thought when we opened up about our quirkiness, we just showed our fragility and weaknesses to others, and we opened the doors for people to badmouth us. But little i know, when we share our vulnerability, people feel human and humble too. True people will feel the same struggle and share the same wrestles in their life. I once told my officemates that i had a fight with my husband because of a petty thing, and we ended up sharing the universal thing that our husbands' doing, and that made us realised that, annoyance are normal too.

I then conclude that, as long as you know what to say, what not to say, and you know with whom you are talking to, and you know there’s a trust between you and that person, it’s okay to talk about it. Of course there’s always a boundary that you have to aware of. Because what i thought huge for me was actually a silly things all husbands are doing too. As long as my husband is providing the necessary thing, doing his responsibilities and give rights that i should receive, it just annoying things that everyone should have - and i also have the petty things that my husband also annoyed with.

And when I talked about that with my friends, i feel that my horizon wider because i feel that it’s normal to have something we quirk at. If i want to fix that up, i know that i have to talk with my husband & what is the middle things we can agree too. And this is what I learned with my friends too - to communicate with my husband more.

And with that too right, my husband also find a way to "complain" about me with his friends - and same concept, as long as we are doing it with same gender, not including details & embarrassing things, i feel that we should have a safe space for couples to talk about "petty marriage things". If we can settle this earlier, if we can look the annoyance things as a laughter, we can create a harmonious marriage - and I find this as "pencegahan awal", rather than you bottled up everything inside you, and throw it off later. Marriage shouldn't be alienation, it should be an institution to make ourselves better - and grow the community better.

The key is always been, to communicate effectively, to trust your partners, and keep some space for yourself, beside the marriage institution. By creating a safe setting for yourself, you can gain more confidence in you & your marriage afterwards.

Semoga kawan-kawan saya berada di dalam rahmat Allah, Allah selalu memayungi hubungan teman-teman saya, hingga jannah.