Defining our raya

 

This year raya was a bit different - we started to hit the reality that it was hard to celebrate raya without mak - from preparing home, dishes, balik kampung and all. But after all, it’s a good different. It made me think of the true meaning of raya - if raya wasn't defined by our societal and traditional definitions. I started thinking of how i want raya should be for me, how i look raya as and most importantly, do i happy with the previous raya we had.

Disclaimer here, it doesn’t mean i hate the society expectations or tradition we have, but we should start to look at the meaning. Are we truly look into it or we just follow the traditions. I know we should follow the customs if it doesn’t break any laws, but if we ignore our mental and physical health, should we relook into it?

I was brought up in a family where raya is about visiting families. I’m okay with it. But what I didn’t okay was, how they acted when we visiting families. We have to face the long traffics, we have to cramp and crowded in a house. It’s tiring to wait for hours of conversations. All the experiences i had was unpleasant. I want my family to plan, to ask and consider our wellbeing when we want to visit people, especially when it takes hours to go there. Moreover, in malay tradition, raya was always looked as a month thing. So, why we should cramp all the visits in a day? Can we plan strategically especially to avoid the traffics?

This time, we can actually do the activities we like. We cooked together, no rushing and no yelling. We can photoshoot, just hang out with our families - watching tv. Eat all the cookies. Buy all cookies we want to eat. I know i can do this other days too, but why should i change my routine just because it’s a festive season?

Eid Aidilfitri is a present for our one month fasting and we should celebrate it - in any ways we prefer, without harming each other. For me, raya is a holiday where i can get some time off from work. Past years i felt devastated with all cramping plans and i was ended up using my work leave for something more tiring and it made me resentful. I came back work more fatigued and demotivated. This year i found myself more restful, quiet and minding my own things - doing what i love without worrying.

Why don’t we start finding our own meaning and our own tradition that we want to honor despite of the existing tradition that jaded and rigid? And sometimes, fake?

Let’s bring the true meaning of Eid, by forgiving and apologising from the deep of our hearts, despite saying it without meaning it. This is the time where all families are gathering and the time where we can freely express our concerns and feelings. If Eid is really about forgiveness, let us freely express our gratitude and thoughts without fear of being judged. Then, we call it Eid.

It is still Syawal to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all of us who passed the Ramadhan. May Allah invites us back next year, with more reflections and gratitude:)